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Abuse

Types of abuse

Abuse can be verbal, emotional, physical, financial or sexual but it can also be less obvious and take the form of controlling behaviour. Learn about the different types of abuse, and how to recognise the signs of abuse. 

There are various common types of abuse. It is worth remembering that some people may use a combination of these types or may move on from one type to another. They may start with emotional abuse and then lead on to physical abuse.

Abuse can happen in any type of relationship, it’s not always by a partner. It can be face-to-face, online and within a relationship or household. More about domestic abuse

Verbal abuse

Verbal abuse is if someone threatens you or calls you nasty names, perhaps someone who shouts at you all the time, or says cruel and hurtful things to you, to make you feel bad.

Emotional abuse

Emotional abuse is if someone uses their power to manipulate and control you. You might feel scared to do something in case it upsets them, or they might constantly check on you, or demand to know where you are all the time. Emotional abuse is scary because the person doing it can make you feel worthless, which can make it really hard for you to gather up the strength to escape.

Coercive or controlling behaviour

This type of abuse takes many different forms, including criticising your clothes or telling you what to wear, which makes it easier for victims to doubt whether they are victims of abuse and to make excuses for the abuser. It also makes it easier for the abuser to insist they are behaving in this way out of love or concern.

Coercive and controlling behaviour is illegal under the Serious Crime Act 2015 (England and Wales).

Controlling behaviour

Acts that are designed to make a person subordinate, inferior and/or dependent on the abuser. This includes isolating them from sources of support, e.g. family and friends, and not allowing them to have independence or gain independence for example not allowing them to get a job or controlling their money. The abuser may also monitor their daily behaviour including where they go or who they message. Controlling behaviour can make it difficult for the person being abused to escape.

Coercive behaviour

The use of assault, threats, humiliation and intimidation or other abuse that is used to harm, punish, or frighten their victim. The victim lives in a constant state of fear that affects all aspects of their life and these invisible chains limit their freedom and ability to escape the abuse.

Physical abuse

Physical abuse is if someone is physically hurting you in any way (by hitting or slapping you, for example). Physical abuse also includes female genital mutilation (FGM). More about FGM

Sexual abuse

Sexual abuse is when someone forces you into sexual activity you don’t want or threatens you if you do not have sexual contact with them. Sexual contact doesn’t just mean sex (which can be oral sex, vaginal sex, and anal sex) but includes any unwanted touching. Even if you have said yes to kissing or having sex in the past, it does not give another person the right to touch you without your consent. You don’t ever have to do anything sexual that you don’t want to do, no matter what anyone else says.

More about consent

Financial abuse

Financial abuse refers to the control of another person through money. It may not be as clear-cut as taking or withholding money, the abuser might tell someone what they can and can’t buy or they might buy the victim items to make them feel they owe their abuser something in return. It could also include being forced into sexual activity with that person or others or being forced into doing something that is illegal such as robbery or selling drugs.

Getting help

If you have experienced any of these types of abuse, are worried that you might be at risk of abuse or are worried about someone else, see our page on how to get help.

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